Confession #56: At last, we'll call it a Cadillac instead of a CTS

Photo: Cadillac

Yes, it's hard to name cars. Lots of names are taken these days. And then there's this need to build brand identity, which has brought the luxury car world firmly into the realm of alphanumerics.

Welcome to the second round of the alphanumeric era, where everything's made up and you shouldn't get used to the names.

Cadillac's third leader in two years is Johan de Nysschen. After doing good work at Audi and Infiniti to raise the prominence and focus of those luxury brands, he's tasked with turning Cadillac's line of good cars into a line of good cars that actually sell. So on Tuesday, Cadillac announced it was moving its headquarters to New York City. On Wednesday, it said it would change the name of its cars. It's been a busy week.

Confession #46: I can't imagine marketers picking baby names

Opel ADAM. And some jumping people
(General Motors photo)

I won two goldfish from the Monroe School carnival when I was 8. They lived for about a week, but I still named them Bob and Buster – and no, I couldn't tell them apart. I arrived at Bob and Buster because Bob Crown appeared regularly on local TV commercials promoting his dealer, Crown Dodge. Next to him, usually sitting on a Durango or something like that, was his bulldog, Buster. Seriously, those were the best names I could come up with.

Names for living, breathing things are hard. My parents chose my full, legal name by committee. That's why, when I show off my driver's license, people sometimes die of laughter. But why should naming a car be that difficult? It is, because Opel just picked one of the first names in the baby book.

Confession #41: Don't hate it just because it's pretty, unreliable

You don't have to read too deep to find Consumer Reports' biases when it comes to testing cars. They place heavy emphasis over value and practicality over things like styling and emotion, things they probably say, "We leave to the enthusiast rags." Rightly so, since Consumer Reports also reviews things like TVs, laptops, butter and similarly prosaic products.

Don't get me wrong, I read their Cars blog religiously. And if someone who buys cars like they do microwaves, I base my recommendations off of some CR reviews. But if I, or anyone who puts emotion and style on a level with practicality, were in the market, I'd take CR's data with a grain of salt. 

The chronicles of their troublesome Fisker Karma then leaves me a little puzzled. First of all, who of their Prius-loving clientele is really interested in the Karma's gorgeous exterior and six-figure price tag? And it's such a low-volume vehicle, who, other than enthusiasts and celebrities, are really considering such a car? Those people are probably uninterested in reliability anyway, and they're tired of looking environmentally conscious while driving around in a Prius.