Confession #60: Better car dealers are not made with better decor

Photo: Creative Commons/Flickr

How important is a marble floor, free coffee and some nice chairs? Or an off-road test track and consistent branding? And is any of this important for your local car dealership?

Not if the dealers are hard to get to and still difficult to deal with once you get there.

Confession #56: At last, we'll call it a Cadillac instead of a CTS

Photo: Cadillac

Yes, it's hard to name cars. Lots of names are taken these days. And then there's this need to build brand identity, which has brought the luxury car world firmly into the realm of alphanumerics.

Welcome to the second round of the alphanumeric era, where everything's made up and you shouldn't get used to the names.

Cadillac's third leader in two years is Johan de Nysschen. After doing good work at Audi and Infiniti to raise the prominence and focus of those luxury brands, he's tasked with turning Cadillac's line of good cars into a line of good cars that actually sell. So on Tuesday, Cadillac announced it was moving its headquarters to New York City. On Wednesday, it said it would change the name of its cars. It's been a busy week.

Confession #48: Buick and Cadillac need each other right now

Buick Regal GS, Cadillac CTS (Photos: GM)

I absolutely feel for Cadillac right now. In my lifetime, there have been at least five big pushes to tell people "This is not your grandfather's Cadillac." And it's really only now the product has pretty much backed up that claim. That's why it sucks sales are spiraling.

It can't help that there's been a jumble of leaders over the past couple years at GM's most prestigious brand. And even after a sales bump in 2013, the momentum has been lost.

Confession #39: Grandpa would want more cylinders

Cadillac V8 (Flickr/Hugo 90)

About five years ago, I was standing next to my grandfather watching a commercial for the then-new Cadillac CTS and the announcer was touting its direct injected V6 with 300-something horsepower. My grandfather, long past his driving years but still filled with memories of his '76 Coupe de Ville, turned to me and asked, "Does having a V6 cheapen a Cadillac?"

Grandpa raised a good point. I, raised on turbo fours and preferring condensed European power to the brute force that's long been an American philosophy, thought it was a non-issue at the time. To him, a Cadillac wasn't a Cadillac without eight cylinders. (I wasn't born yet to ask him what he thought of the Cimarron). He never really forgave GM for their downsizing in the '70s and '80s, either. If Grandpa were around today, I wonder what he'd say about the new Cadillac ATS, the 3-series opponent that features two four-cylinders in its engine roster. He'd probably hate it. And, after much thought, I kind of have to agree with him.

Confession #24: Impulsive, non-committal type seeks functional, fast wagon for friendship

(Saab Automobile AB photo)

Wagons are perfect for someone who favors diplomatic decisions over democratic ones. And even for someone who wants a quick escape, just in case the choice doesn't work.

Take a detour to Ikea one Saturday? You can spend hundreds of dollars in assemble-yourself furniture and spend the rest of the weekend scratching your head and screaming at an Allen wrench. And then return it in pieces the following weekend while trying to keep the rage to a minimum at the customer service desk.

Have you just started scuba sessions? Dozens of oxygen tanks will fit without drama.

Confession #10: No Autocar, there isn't one car of the decade

The British motoring publication Autocar is trying to evaluate the Car of the Decade. The latest blogger, Steve Sutcliffe, has it really wrong.

The Bugatti Veyron, as impressive as an engineering feat it is, epitomizes a lot of what went wrong in the 2000s. Yes, it's absolutely amazing that this road-legal car has a 16-cylinder engine, with no less than 10 radiators, and goes 253 miles-per-hour. Every

thing about it is done to the highest standard and frankly I would sell any part of me for a ride in one, let alone the privilege of driving it.

But it's a $1 million car. New. And while it's not like there's one on every corner (unless you live in Dubai), it's not exactly rare or special enough to warrant the price yet. So collectors haven't really embraced it at this point. It's just shocking to grasp the reality that people will actually pay this much for a new car and never realize its full potential.

There are worse offenses of the decade as far as cars go. I notice now that people who in the '90s had Accords, Camrys, and thought a Nissan 300ZX wa

s an exotic plaything for weekends now end 2009 with BMW 3-series and Audi A4s in their driveway, with a Porsche Boxster or BMW Z4 in the garage. It's not like they have any more disposable income than they did 10 years ago, but people have stretched their credit further in order to afford a posh badge.

This phenomenon has done two things. It has cheapened the appeal of premium brands, especially the German ones. That's why Porsche brought us such things as the Cayenne and Panamera. And Audi inflicted the butt-ugly Q7 and BMW brought the aforementioned X6. Other nationalities have had poor offenders, such as Lexus' new HS250h hybrid, which is just a more expensive and less efficient Toyota Prius.
That in turn has narrowed the gap of premium brands in terms of quality and engineering. The Hyundai Genesis, for example, is every bit as good as a Cadillac STS, itself a very competent vehicle competing with the Mercedes E-Class and BMW 5-series. But because it has a cheap badge on it, it's worth 15 grand less.

This brings me to my cars of the decade. There has to be several, maybe 10. The 2000s were just chock-full of new cars and rapidly advancing technology that I really can't narrow it down to a single model.